Today’s memories and such are brought to you by the wonderful people at Imaginary Garden with Real Toads via the song video, “Watch the Corners” by Dinosaur Jr. I have no plan more than to write a few words and remember 🙂
As a substitute teacher, I am used to following the teacher’s instructions, babysitting, hitting the call button for back up from admin. Here’s a Truth: I enjoy teaching the “harder to teach” kids. The ones with anger, problems at home and school, segregated into a separate classroom at times.
I grasp for words to explain why I love teaching them, except to say that I remember being an outsider, ignored, pain that filled me up and ran me like gasoline from one week to the next. Not “getting the memo” about friends, sports, doing homework. My eyes would always betray me, tears plastering my face at their own whim.
Looking closer to home, I have three girls: two are 16 and the baby is 10. Not doing homework, staying overnight at “friends” houses without meeting their parents. Escaping out the window to go driving downtown to look for “fun.” Plans for freedom in all types of flavors: cotton candy love, “You don’t know how I feel” rocky road, metropolitan dreams.
My head is playing volleyball between sentimentality and stressful decisions. Almost thirty years ago and yet I remember being them. I’ve caught myself thinking that I wouldn’t wish teenager-hood on my worst enemy. Then smiling when my students or daughters do something that remind me of the good times full of wonder and curiosity.
I pause, unsure how to finish this post. Really not caring if my daughters read it (the freedom of being older!). I think, no matter where you are in your life, there is struggle and memory. Try to look for those perfect lightening bug moments. They are there.