Prompt Nights: Spontaneous or Not?

This is what life does: it tells you that you must have a mental illness and that your depression is always with you, then you have a good string of good days and you wonder if you still have the mental disorder

This is what life does: you strive your entire life trying to break free so that you can be alone and independent, but you are only living well if you are with other people thus not “independent”

This is what life does: gives you years, decades even, of a drinking problem along with unchecked mental illness which makes you make incredibly bad decisions again and again and then you stumble onto a really risky decision that works out phenomenally well possibly even saving your life

This is what life does: allows you to be pregnant with two beautiful girls six years apart and then slowly they drift away until both of them live many, many hours apart from you but you know that they were meant to be in the world one way or another

This is what life does: causes you to blame everybody around you to how they have messed up your life, but then years later and many mistakes later you realize that you are also guilty of the same mistakes that they made and you are not a monster

This is what life does: causes you to fight for who you are on a daily basis and your enemy is your own body and mind

This is what life does: circle back to the one form of writing that you swore you would never write again once you reached adulthood

This is what life does: gives you glimpses into how you tick, how your mind works unconsciously so that you may be compassionate towards yourself and others

This is what life does: gives you amazing moments followed by heartbreaking, soul shredding moments working with children of different backgrounds, races, ages, experiences and belief systems. And you still keep going back.

This is what life does: give you bites of memories when you come across a situation, song, food, conversation that remind you of them and those memories don’t live in your consciousness but in your subconscious just waiting to breathe again

This is what life does: allows people who have died to rise and breathe again in starts and stops making you realize what you have lost

This is what life does: peels back your inner self to see not only choices and their consequences but also moments that fill you with unspeakable joy

 

 

Linked to Sanaa’s Prompt Nights on A Dash of Sunny

Photo Courtesy of Buzac Marius