Today is a free post day so I’m going to talk a little about the recent diagnose of my youngest daughter who was diagnosed with a mood disorder. Her doctor has predicted that she will have to battle with bipolar disorder as she gets older. She is currently seven years old.
Good morning, my friends!
I hope good weather and health have found you today. In Maryland I have found both for which I am grateful. We went to an outdoor beer tasting yesterday that was quite tasty despite the ninety degree heat.
My baby girl just finished third grade in May with outstanding marks in all of her classes. She reads at a fifth grade level and excels in math and science. She loves to collect rocks, wants to be a veterinarian when she gets older and has the biggest dimples when she smiles.
She had always been different from her sister. As a baby she couldn’t handle the texture of noodles or meat. When frustrated she used to gag herself, terrifying when driving down the street. I used to get reports from her sitter stating that she had bit another child during playtime.
A few days ago I learned that my youngest daughter was diagnosed with a a mood disorder. My heart dropped in that moment, heavy with pain and guilt that I had contributed to her disability. In my side of the family genetics, I come from a long line of schizophrenia, clinical depression and anxiety. I am unsure about her father’s side in terms of disability.
I still blame myself.
She is on mood stabilizers and sees a psychologist on a regular basis. We’ve had to readjust dosages and types of medication a few times because the side effects caused drastic mood swings that left her exhausted and confused.
It’s one thing to live with my own diagnosis of depression and anxiety, another to watch my brilliant beautiful blue-eyed girl struggle as well. Since the day she was born, I made sure that she was always safe, had healthy food to eat and a roof over her head. But I am helpless–I can’t fight this illness or cure it with mamma’s love.
You cannot predict how life will affect you or your children. It’s not possible to shield your loved ones from disaster or disease. You gotta love them through whatever happens.
Every week I answer another question about my disability from Redefining Disability, a creation of Rose b. Fischer. I do this in order to continue my healing process as well as doing my part to create an open dialogue about disabilities. Thank you for listening. If you want to share your story, please join us!