Redefining Disability Day 1

Happy Monday! Today I face the beginning of a great challenge– talking openly about my personal experiences with mental illness.

Question One: Please talk about your diagnosis.

It’s taken a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that I suffer from a mental illness.

I tried to run from my diagnosis for most of my life. I’ve tried ignorance, physical and emotional escape, blame, anger, guilt and of course my favorite– denial.

I was formally diagnosed with anxiety and depression a few years ago, but have been locked in battle with both disorders for most of my life.

It was never talked about in my family when I was young–I figured that I was just reserved in school and prone to motion sickness on long car rides.

I couldn’t see any physical signs like other disorders, but I knew I had some severe limitations.

For example, at large family functions I was known to Tic, meaning I would make loud vocalizations and/or bizarre facial expressions. What was worse was that I couldn’t control them no matter who was with me.

My family “got used to them” and I felt ostracized because I felt I needed to make excuses as to why I felt an overwhelming urge to tic.

This went on through my school years and it seemed that it would go on indefinitely.

7 thoughts on “Redefining Disability Day 1

  1. It takes courage to self-disclose and share. I am glad you have reached a point where you can do that now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It took until I entered my 30s to meet and get to know myself. I’m kinda cool 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Glad we’ll all get to know you too 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Well done! I prefer to think myself as having missed out on the “Happiness” gene versus ‘mental illness’ – sounds so categorical- and it’s not really “mental’, it’s ’emotional’ and it’s not really an ‘illness’, it’s just a different perspective.

    Of course,…I could be in denial.


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