Day after day my writing is unearthing who I truly am…layer after painful, joyous layer. Today I dare to sit down and have a chat with my muse, my inner self…the prospect is scary…truth can be heart-stopping, soul annihilating, ravaging and blood-thirsty.
I am taking these questions from a beautiful sister writer, Andrea Balt. In her introduction to these Seventeen Essential Questions, she converses with my muse saying “[these questions are] pointing straight at your writer heart, with bullets of truth to help you reassess your art and your story; to guide you in not just remembering, but re-understanding where you’re at, what you want and who you are slowly and steadily becoming.
I invite you, dear friends, to accompany me on this inner journey…
Let the Bleeding Begin…
- When did you first realize your love for writing? Do you remember any people or events attached to your first writing ecstasy or have any significant early memories about this art? Go as back and as deep as possible.
My sisters, at a very young age have shown talent in the field of visual arts….especially drawing and painting. They would create…and various paintings would be shown to the public in art shows, by grandparents, etc. and they would all be highly praised as talented artists. I couldn’t draw, paint, photograph, act or even get very far in competitive speech or band concerts. What I COULD do was write free-form poetry. I had a nom de plume…”Cricket” and my work was published in yearbooks in my junior and senior years. My poetry was always centered on teen angst…I was so angry then. I wasn’t close to my sisters…nor my mother…or grandparents on my mother’s side. In fact, I was scared of them….did all I could to avoid them. I adored my father, but he was always so far away…distance and emotionally. I did connect to my grandmother, Trudy, during my teenage years. I don’t recall if I shared any of my poetry with her…but I do know that after she passed away when I was twenty or twenty-one I stopped writing.
I’ve always been a bookworm and a music-lover…I could spend days upon days in my room reading and listening to music….music made more sense to me than people. When we (meaning my sisters and I) would go visit Dad during our vacation days….it seemed that my sisters had more to talk about with him. One developed an interest in photography (still has a running business…currently studying and creating film), another has a gift with animals that showed up in her drawings and paintings since she was small, and the youngest one also has the gift of writing.
I just broke my writing silence eighteen days ago when I joined a writer’s challenge over FB. I had written plenty before…..for academic purposes only. I began college during the summer before my senior year in high school. I received my B.A. cum laude in Speech Pathology in 2005. I went on to Graduate School in the fall of 2005 but left school before I could complete my Master’s degree in 2007. While I was in college I was able to ignore my muse…tune her out with assignments in many subject areas…with responsibilities…deadlines…through the quest for knowledge, not wisdom. But here I am now…after all this time..finally listening to Her.
To be continued…..