Day Three-cathartic expression…How do I write and yet protect my very scarred heart and soul from truth? Memories flash and sometimes they haunt..sometimes they appear as anecdotes other times like nightmares. I’ve been thinking about my grandmother a lot lately. I actually looked up the rules to Kings in the Corner-a game we used to pay after fiber as night was closing in with my sisters arguing in the background. I can still smell the goulash and pepper-paper posted but it may as well have been China—Miss Manners always held court at the lake. It off nowhere a Tupperware filled with soda crackers and chocolate frosting in the middle quickly disappeared as crickets made their debut. Cowboys and Indians going in magazines and on the mantle as we fought over which “last” outfit we would change from small rebels into queens. Morning-time would bring hummingbirds (keep away cats!) and another day to find something to do. After breakfast, down the hill we would run…”Oh little playmate, come out and play with me-bring your dollies three-climb up my apple tree..” Was that turtle egg by the road? Maybe we can hatch it! Over the gate that kept everyone else away but is-down to the dike. Headphones and Archie Bunker in hand-I would stretch out in pure bliss. Bright pink bikini doing a country line dance at the lodge-what was I thinking? Once I caught a garder snake-called him “Kinky”-taught him the racing circuit—Oh, and Myrtle my little turtle…I brought him all the way back home hoping he would like a river instead of a lake.

Last time I visited, the trailer was long gone-as was grandma. I pulled up to the tiny graveyard on  cold, windy day..the sky had blackened and I was late arriving. There  visited grandma, grandpa and my godfather and then continued on. Just as light disappeared from the horizon, I found the familiar “forbidden” driveway if my childhood. I had parked up the hill and walked the path of childhood to get there right to the gate. I climbed over it once again-to the door of a familiar cabin—“We have been expecting you—welcome home.”

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